6) Oxytocin and Social Motivation Improvements

Sasha is a warm and friendly person.  I'm not just saying that because he is my son.  Ask anyone.  Well, ask any ADULT.  If left to his own devices in any particular situation, Sasha will find a way to chat up any adult within seconds to minutes.  It is the opposite with his peers.  If he were in a room full of 20 kids his age and one adult, Sasha would make a beeline for the adult and the kids would be heard by him (in my imagination) making the "whomp whomp" sounds that the Peanuts Gang always hears the adults making when they talk.

Strangely, despite Sasha's very friendly demeanor and outgoing personality, he really has very little interest in hanging out with kids his age.  Besides his sister (11), he has no kids with whom he interacts on a regular basis- in other words, he has no friends.  This is a very heartbreaking thing for me to see because I know the value of friendship from the wonderful friends I have in my life.  For Sasha, however, it doesn't appear to bother him. At school, he has aides to shadow him throughout the school day and he seems perfectly content to stay by himself or with his aides whenever there is down time at school. I have but once or twice heard him express feeling any loneliness or longing for a friend.  

Most social events involve food so other activities and people don't stand a chance to attract Sasha's attention when there is food lying around.  Food is both his passion and vice.  For Sasha, food is to him in the same way that alcohol is to an alcoholic.  Fortunately and unfortunately, since he has no friends of his own, he does not get invited to social events like birthday parties .  However, we still get invited as a family to gatherings by our family friends.  

In our pre-oxytocin life, bringing Sasha to a social event (such as a BBQ or dinner party) was a recipe for disaster and trauma. At these events,  all he could do was to hover around the food, eating or sneaking food for later.  Of course, we would police him and try to get him to tear himself away from the food, but it was met with protest, tears and emotional meltdowns.  Often we would have to leave the event because it was no fun for anyone. Buffet potlucks were the kiss of death, the very worst situations for us, so we didn't even bother going.  The result of living in this manner for the last almost-five years: a shrinking social life.  Currently, we have to restrict ourselves to doing most of the entertaining in our home where we can control the types of food we serve and keep a careful eye on him.

Since he has been on oxytocin, there have been some subtle but noticeable changes.  Sasha reported to me that he noticed himself feeling more drawn to hanging out with kids during his summer camp activities.  On several occasions when his appetite was low, he even skipped eating to play cards with kids during lunch!  During a recent 4th of July BBQ at a friend's home, we watched in amazement as Sasha played in the pool, spent time chatting with people (adults- there were very few kids at the party), and VISITED the appetizer table for more moderate snacking rather than moving in and living at the table!  At this party, it was the first time in a long time I was able to feel relatively relaxed.  Because it was so new to us, we still were mindful of his eating but it was MUCH easier since we could see that he was not physically in the same area of the food for much of the party.

Naomi Cook, cranio mom extraordinaire, saw these changes with her daughter when she treated her daughter with oxytocin.  As the "love/bonding hormone", I have hope that oxytocin will help Sasha develop some interest in socializing more with his peers and to make some true friends.  Only time will tell.