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Monday, January 9, 2017

63) Another momentous sign of progress... a friendship!

We had an awesome weekend- in my last post, I documented the great time we all had at a potluck dinner party on Saturday night.  The very next day, Sasha had a birthday party (he turned 14 years old on New Year's Day) complete with friends in attendance!  It is no small feat that Sasha was able to have a birthday party with friends to invite. There were only four boys (including Sasha) so it was a small party but this was the very first one since his brain tumor diagnosis and surgery where he had over some kids whose friendships he had nurtured on his own.  He had a great time with them and my heart was filled with joy as I observed him engaging in ordinary social interactions with these boys.  He seemed so natural and it was as if he had done it all his life but I knew that these social interactions with his peers were special and new to him.

Today he came home from school and told me that one of these new friends, A, approached him during lunch and asked to eat lunch with Sasha!  They had lunch together and then went together to the lunch time gathering where they played their card game.  To top it all off, I received a text from A's mother after school today to invite Sasha over on the weekend to hang out with A!!  This is the first ever invitation Sasha has received from a friend he made completely on his own! Woo hoo!

Sasha told me today, "Mom, I am really glad to have a friend.  I never had friends before and it makes me happy to have friends now. "

The timing couldn't be better.  Since his brain tumor surgery five years ago, Sasha never showed much interest or initiative in befriending kids his age.  Even if he had, we would have been very reluctant to allow him to go over to anyone's house unsupervised.  The fear that he would eat without discretion was always looming in our minds.  Fortunately and unfortunately, he was never invited over by anyone since he had no friends so we didn't have to deal with the issue. Now that his hyperphagia behaviors are much more under control, we can actually permit him to go to another kid's house!  We will still caution him to make good choices, of course (recall that he still has a tendency to take our money if he has an opportunity), but I think he is ready to be entrusted with more freedom so long as he is careful.

Those of you who (have kids who) have struggled with the same issues- take heart! Oxytocin (and naltrexone as a drug which potentiates oxytocin's effect) seems to be doing the trick to improve Sasha's social motivation and to give him the desire to make and keep friends!

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