Tonight we went to my friend's home for a potluck dinner. Every year, we gather twice with these friends with whom I went to graduate school. I have known these friends for almost 30 years... yikes, scary to say that I met friends in graduate school almost 30 years ago but it's true- that is how old I am now! Anyway, we have watched each other get married and have kids and they have known about our struggles with Sasha's brain tumor and the resulting complications with his hypothalamic obesity, etc. At every party in the past, they have seen us fuss over Sasha's food obsessions and how we (his dad and I) have had to take turns following him around the host's house to monitor his eating and to try to make sure that he does not overeat. As you can well imagine, it is not a lot of fun to have to police Sasha at a party and does not make for a very relaxing time for us. Usually, we avoid these types of parties or we go to the party with dread and a healthy dose of hypervigilance.
Tonight was different. Well, Sasha was different. The spread of food was still plentiful- cheeses, chips, crackers, dips, and vegetables were the appetizers that were laid out on the coffee table in the living room. Instead of hanging out by the food or visiting the food table over and over again, Sasha was at the dining room table playing his favorite card game with another kid! I almost couldn't believe it as the minutes flew by while I watched Sasha immerse himself in a social interaction with another boy while a table full of food laid exposed in the adjacent room... it was as if there was no food around! Sasha was fully engaged in playing the game with the other boy (they have met a few times in the past but were much more engaged tonight than in the past) and didn't stop playing until about five minutes before dinner was to be served. At that point, the boys were kicked out of the dining room and Sasha came into the living room to eat a few of the appetizers. Then he went into the kitchen with the other kids (six in total) and served himself dinner (a moderate portion of lasagne, salad, bread). The adults ate in the dining room. After dinner, we all hung out and chatted and Sasha continued to hang out with the other boy. My friends remarked how different Sasha seemed ("he's socializing, he's not focused on the food!") and how different my husband and I were acting ("you seem so RELAXED, you're sitting still in one room and not getting up to follow him around!").
I was so pleased with Sasha's behavior at tonight's party and so was my husband (and he tends to NEVER be able to relax at any parties with Sasha). It was so lovely to see Sasha having a good time socializing with another boy his age, especially in the presence of tempting foods. Afterwards, Sasha approached me and told me himself that he was also very happy that he had such a good time at the party. He noted that he was having so much fun hanging out with the other boy, he was not even thinking about eating the food at the party. He also expressed interest in getting together with the boy again so they can "hang out" and play Magic cards together again.
Wow.
Tomorrow Sasha will celebrate his 14th birthday with three other boys (it's still hard for me to call them his friends- such a foreign concept that Sasha has actual friends!). He is super excited about his birthday party and acknowledges that it will be a "first" for him to be inviting kids that he has (mostly) befriended on his own. I am very much looking forward to seeing Sasha enjoy himself at his party. Hooray for new friends! I will post again if I end up having any more news to report post-birthday party.
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