Hope for HO: 87) Interview #3- Sasha explains how he is different on OT now

In my preparation for writing a paper on this OT experiment, I have been trying to recall the timeline of all the changes we have seen so I have been reviewing old posts to help jog my memory. I ran across a couple of posts (#5 & #17) written way back in July when I started the blog. At this time, I thought I was noticing some amazing changes with his reduced appetite so I interviewed Sasha to ask him about his experience with oxytocin. I later learned that during the time of the second interview, he was very likely sneaking food and lying about it. I felt completely betrayed and angry about being deceived by him but when I calmed down, I realized that the sneaking AND the lying about it was an integral part of his HO condition. He was obviously still in its clutches so I still had some more work to do to help him. To my disappointment, I learned that he would not be a reliable source as a reporter about his experience since he was motivated to lie if necessary in order to get his food fix (#32). When I started to introduce a system for Sasha to track his own temptations and food sneaking, I made the mistake of rewarding him for having a "sneak-free" week but realized later that I was only rewarding him to be a more skilled food thief or liar (#52)! It took me a while but I finally figured out that I have to assume that Sasha will always lie by default about matters pertaining to food until he is truly freed from of his excessive hunger and hyperphagia.

To be perfectly honest, I still don't know if he is freed from HO now nor do I know if I can trust him to tell the truth about his relationship to food. After all, the nature of HO/hyperphagia is for the sufferer to satisfy his intense hunger as a means to survival. Well, survival is a pretty compelling motivation so I can certainly understand why a person would need to lie, cheat, and steal for food.

Even though I still have a skeptical voice in my head about Sasha's ability to be truthful about food, I have seen with my own eyes that he is able to leave food untouched even when it is available to him. I see that he leaves food unfinished now and this even includes food that he finds highly desirable (frozen yogurt). I notice that he appears less pressured about waiting for his next snack or meal. I notice that he is able to handle an unlocked food cabinet by pacing himself pretty well through the week with his snacks. I have not detected any signs of stashed food of late or heard complaints from school about food stealing incidents (except for once when he helped himself into his friend's cabinet to take a granola bar). And he has done most of this while decreasing his BMI over time. All of these signal to me that he appears to be doing better than he was in July when he claimed to have a reduced appetite.

So... for what it's worth, I talked with Sasha about his recent experience with OT and this is what transpired:

Mom: How's it going with oxytocin? How have you been feeling on OT these past few weeks?

Sasha: It's going well. I don't really think about food as much as I used to.

Mom: Yeah. I was wondering what feels different to you now? For example, do you feel satisfied with less food or do you feel like the food you eat lasts longer so you don't get hungry as quickly?

Sasha: I think both are true. I don't finish my entire meal now compared to before when I would eat everything and still want more. I often don't finish all of my lunch, as you know. Also, I just don't think about food that much anymore. I used to be thinking about it almost all of the time and wondered when I would get to eat again. Oh yeah, now I only eat when I'm hungry.

Mom: I notice that. Sometimes the rest of us are eating dessert and you actually pass on it because you say you're not hungry. That would have never happened before without oxytocin, right?

Sasha: That's right. Now I just eat when I have tummy hunger.

Mom: How's it going with the unlocked snack cabinet? Is it hard to manage the food?

Sasha: No, it's weird. When you first told me that we were going to try to unlock the cabinet, I remember you said that it would be hard in the beginning as I was getting used to it, but that it would someday be a normal thing just having the food out and unlocked. I guess you're right about it because I don't even think about the unlocked cabinet now until I am actually hungry and need to get something to eat.

Mom: Are there still situations that are hard for you? Certain foods that are hard to resist?

Sasha: Yes- I notice that it's still hard for me to not want more foods that we don't get at home- things like graham crackers or cookies. At the Y (Sasha's after school program) I asked the counselor for seconds recently and he asked if I had already had firsts. I told him the truth that I had and he thanked me for telling the truth. I guess I wanted more because it was something you don't buy.

Mom: You mean, higher carb foods?

Sasha: Yeah. Since I don't get to eat those foods at home, they are more special to me.

Mom: I understand. It would be harder for me to resist those tempting foods too if I only got those foods infrequently. But why do you think you are handling food now better than before? It seems like you're less intense about food now but you've been on 6 iu OT and 100 naltrexone for a few months and you seem calmer about food only in the last few weeks.

Sasha: I have no idea. Maybe it's because you guys are trusting me more with food and I feel more relaxed about it? I really don't know why though. (laughs)

So there you have it! Glad it seems to be working!