45) Socializing with his peers

My focus with this oxytocin experiment is mostly on Sasha's issues with his appetite and hyperphagia but I am also concerned about optimizing his motivation to socialize with kids his age.  His baseline personality is one that is outgoing, friendly and warm.  He is extremely chatty at times and can start a conversation with people (including strangers) in almost any situation.  However, his preferences are to strike up conversations almost exclusively with adults. This has been the case since he was a pre-schooler as I can recall many incidences of my 3 year old son usurping conversations away from me.  On one memorable occasion, I went out to lunch with my friend (Julie) and Sasha (who was 3 at the time).   My friend and I didn't see each other often so I was very much looking forward to catching up with her.  Rather than being able to have a conversation with her and having to keep my son busy with a toy or coloring book or something, I was having to watch my friend and Sasha chat it up while I sat on the side, trying to get a word in edge-wise!  After that lunch, my friend told me she thought he was a "metrosexual" because of how complimentary he was of her and how he liked that her "scarf matched her earrings," LOL!

Anyway, I think you get my point that Sasha is a friendly and social person (with adults).  Despite his naturally friendly personality, he has no (kid) friends.  It bothers me a great deal as I know how important friendships are (especially in our case since we have a teeny tiny family- besides his parents, Sasha has only one sister and one cousin, four aunts/uncles and no living grandparents- that's it).  He has not seemed to mind.  For the past five years, during non-academic times, he hangs out with his aides at lunchtime and hangs out with us (family) on the weekends.  We have tried to encourage him to meet kids and to make friends by joining activities such as bowling and chess and we socialize a great deal with our family friends on the weekends.  Still, somehow Sasha doesn't seem to get himself invited to birthday parties or to playdates with other kids.  In my observations and in the observations of teachers, Sasha appears mostly indifferent to kids his age.

Given that oxytocin is a missing hormone for Sasha and that he has had some social deficits in his disinterest in making friends and his lack of peer friendships, it is our hope that oxytocin might help increase Sasha's social motivation to befriend kids his age. There is a large body of research on the subject of oxytocin's relationship with social connection, bonding, trust, prosocial behaviors, affiliative motivation, etc. and it is frankly, very complicated to sort through due to the difficulty of isolating specific social behaviors and controlling for confounding factors such as anxiety. When I have more time,  I may write about this subject in more detail after reviewing some of the literature on oxytocin's role with social behavior.

For our purposes in regards to Sasha's social life, he has shown some improvement and interest in hanging out with other kids. For the last few weeks, he has been hanging out during lunch with some kids (including L) and playing Magic the Gathering cards. Today he was invited to a Magic the Gathering game gathering at L's house. L is the son of Sasha's dad's friend who once came over to our home over the summer for a dinner party. Turns out Sasha had a great time playing the game with the three other boys (all students at his middle school). He even said there were snacks served but that he was more focused on the game and it made it easier not to overly focus on the food. He also has had temptations to steal coveted cards (another reason I may end up trying Naltrexone one day) but was able to successfully resist his temptations.

Although it may not seem like a big deal to get invited to another kid's home for a social event, it is really a VERY big deal for Sasha. We are hoping that he can keep a friendly demeanor with this group, make good choices with resisting any impulses to take things, and be included and invited back next week when they meet again.

With his recent social invitation and successful encounter:

"It's one small step for kid-kind
One giant leap for Sasha!"