38) Transitioning to taking off the training wheels: "I like the increased freedom," says Sasha

For the past two weeks or so, there have not been any sightings of Kitchen Bitch (with one exception today- to be discussed in a moment). In general, my hypervigilant and irritable self in the kitchen around hyperphagic Sasha hasn't been around. That is to say that Sasha has been much more mellow about food lately. However, just today he got intense about wanting to make lunch, insisted that the salad we were going to eat (to be made by him) wasn't going to be enough, and that he would need more to eat.  This salad was going to be very hearty (including greens, chicken, nuts, bell peppers, green beans, balsamic onions and peaches, raisins and tomatoes) so I told him to calm down and that we would just wait and see if the salad was going to be enough, and that he could have more to eat if he needed it.  He was argumentative with me and even got a little tearful over his anxiety about the lunch. The funny thing is that he ate his salad and when I turned to him to ask if he had enough to eat, I noticed that he hadn't even finished his plate!  I enjoyed a little "told ya so" with him and he smiled and admitted that I was right.. the hearty salad satisfied him plenty.

He had a "disaster-free" week in his first week of school and we have been enjoying a social weekend with dinner parties. On Thursday we were invited to a friend's home where her brother (a professional chef visiting from China) made a beautiful 10-dish spread which was served buffet style. Normally we would never attend a buffet dinner but we took our chances and it turned out well. Sasha ate a moderate amount of food and was able to hang out with us during and after dinner without having to return to the food table over and over again.  Last night, we were invited to another dinner party at a neighbor's house.  Sasha made the dessert (a lower carb peach cobbler) to share with the group.  Our neighbor friends were careful to serve food that would be Sasha-friendly so we felt comfortable with the buffet-style dinner arrangement.  To our relief, the appetizers were totally appropriate (vegetables, dips, some cut up whole fruit) as was the dinner (skewered chicken, sausages, salmon, vegetables, green salads and corn on the cob).  We kept a sideways eye on him and noticed that he engaged with the food very appropriately and was able to also hang out with the other kids and dog without needing to be glued to the food table.  He only came into the kitchen once for seconds and grabbed a second half-ear of corn.  I was quite pleased with how he conducted himself at the party and we were all able to have a great evening together with no disasters!

As a result of these continuing signs of Sasha's decreasing obsession with food and hunger, we have begun to "take off the training wheels" and are starting to give him a little more freedom around the kitchen.  For example, on a couple of occasions, we have allowed him to make breakfast or lunch without supervision.  During these occasions, we removed the necessary ingredients from the fridge or cabinets (usually ingredients for omelettes or salad) and locked up the remaining food and then gave him the space to cook the food on his own.  We know that he can easily eat some of the ingredients without our knowing but we feel that he is ready for these baby steps now.  As far as we can tell, Sasha has handled himself well with the increased freedom.  He tells me that he enjoys the freedom and the feeling that we are trusting him more.  He reports that he is continuing to feel less focused on food.  In fact as a case in point, as I am writing this, I offered him to make a yogurt dessert and he turned me down, saying that he isn't hungry and isn't in the mood to deal with food so soon after lunch!

As we have experienced these changes in Sasha, I have wondered how we would even know if he was able to resist extra food sneaking/eating on his own if we were continuously breathing down his neck when he was in proximity to food. If we continued to police him heavily, we wouldn't be giving him the opportunity to test out his own ability to trust his (normalizing) appetite or to self-monitor his eating behaviors.  The only way to test him is to let go... ideally, we would do this in a gradual manner, like how we might train a beginner who goes from riding a tricycle to a bicycle with training wheels.  Now we see Sasha as riding a bike with training wheels and see that he is getting ready to take them off... but are we ready??

I am running along beside him as he wobbles and balances on his bicycle.  It's both scary and exhilarating all at the same time!